You Might Be Liberal When..
you've ever left your sociology class thinking, "That professor really knows what he/she/it is talking about."
you associate the words "model American" with "Bill Clinton"
you think Dan Rather represents media impartiality
your response to anything Rush Limbaugh says is, "Well, he's fat."
the first word in the description of your hair color is "neon"
you've ever tried to protect the ozone layer
you've stood for animal rights, but wear leather belts and sandals
you've ever given a dollar to a bum so he can buy more liquor ...ummm ... food
you ever use the words "Clarence Thomas" and "Uncle Tom" in the same sentence
you are a vegan
you have a bumper sticker that says "You Can't Hug With Nuclear Arms" on your car
you believe diversity represents the extinction of the white race
you've ever walked around carrying one of those Javahhh mugs
you pay a 185 percent markup for organically grown food
you cheered for "Obstructing Justice Simpson" last Tuesday at 1 p.m.
you don't think it's right to kill rapists and murderers, but do think it's right to kill babies
you have anything to do with the Compassionate Living Fair
you want more funding for AIDS research but less for cancer, despite the fact that cancer kills many more people per year
you have the entire menu at Cup-A-Joe memorized
you consider yourself open-minded but refuse to listen to anything Jesse Helms has to say
you abhor censorship unless it's censoring race, religion, Conservatism, Western culture or Rush Limbaugh
you found yourself unemployed after this past November's election
you're a dope smoker or a womanizer ... oh, sorry, that's "You might be a Clinton cabinet official if ..."
you're the dolt who stole the "Helms '96" bumper sticker from my car
you think the phrase, "... separation of church and state" is in the Constitution
you cry, "You can't legislate morality," but defend the Roe v. Wade decision in order to legalize your moral position on abortion
you stay informed by watching MTV News
you have an "I'm Straight But Not Narrow" button pinned to your book bag
there is a ring in any part of your head other than your ears
you think religion is bad for school kids to learn, but think condom giveaways are just what schools need
you molest campaign workers, then lie about it on national television . . . oops, my mistake again, that's "You might be Mel Reynolds if . . ."
you think Jesse Jackson is a good spokesman for the black community
you think Jesse Jackson is good at anything
you lie in bed at night worried that Pat Robertson might be out to get you
you attribute the rising illegitimacy rate, crime rate or problems in the inner city to Ronald Reagan
you've ever held up a grocery store line trying to pick between plastic, which isn't biodegradable, or paper, which cuts down innocent trees
you think the National Organization for Women is made up of average heterosexual women with no lesbian agenda
you're on the committee to construct the Gay Jewish Women's Cultural Center -- there's a slight chance you're a liberal
you blame Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but not the spend-happy "Democrooks" for the huge national debt
banning assault weapons is your solution to end crime (what do you mean punish the criminals?)
you tell me how to live by telling me I can't tell people how to live
And finally ...you think Ted Kennedy is sober and monogamous
Contributed by: admin